Meditation at work, at work

Meditation can offer so much opportunity for the growth and development of both individuals and teams in a workplace. However, it is important that any meditation initiative is offered with care. Here are some guidelines to consider when introducing meditation to the workplace:

Make it Optional – meditation has many proven benefits, one of them being the deepening of the relationship within ourselves. This relationship is sacred, and the individual should be invited to explore it, rather than be told they “have to” – especially within the workplace. It is suggested that meditation be offered rather than ordered and that employees be welcomed in a way that best suits them.

Make it part of the Routine – real change happens when we meditate in small doses regularly, rather than sporadically. The research tells us we are more likely to experience benefits with meditation with a short 5–10-minute daily practice, rather than a 60-minute practice on a Sunday. Is there a way you could offer a daily/weekly opportunity to meditate together in your workplace – perhaps before or after a regular meeting? Meditation can be done face to face or remotely and there are plenty of apps and resources leaders can draw on to help guide the sessions.

Pin it to a Broader Health and Wellbeing Goal or Strategy- people like to know why they are doing something, rather than just doing it. It can be helpful to communicate to the team why the leaders feel meditation might be a useful addition to the other wellbeing initiatives the organisation already offers.

Add some Science - some team members might like to see some of the robust research results that are making their way into some of the most respected medical and psychological journals (many of which are happening here in Australia via Melbourne and Monash Universities).

Have a Lead or a Champion – it is helpful to have a passionate meditator (or aspiring meditator) as an internal lead or champion to maintain momentum of the organisational meditation initiative when the shine and novelty inevitably wears off.

Work with a Qualified Teacher – few workplace leaders are also meditation teachers and good teaching is important when it comes to this work. In fact, the research tells us, that it is the skill and experience of the teacher that is the strongest predictor of the effectiveness of meditation both in schools and workplaces. As such, it may be worthwhile to engage a qualified teacher to run regular sessions with your team. The Meditation Association of Australia’s website is a great resource to help you to find a qualified teacher.

The simple fact is the science is in; meditation is good for us. Workplaces have the opportunity to both nourish individuals, enhance the strength of teams and impact the overall work culture by offering meditation as part of their wellbeing program.

Now is where it is at

How mindfulness might help Melbourne ride yet another lockdown

 “It all feels a little PTSDish” said a friend of mine as we debriefed about Melbourne’s latest lockdown. From the Beyond Blue website:

“Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a particular set of reactions that can develop in people who have been through a traumatic event which threatened their life or safety, or that of others around them. This could be a car or other serious accident, physical or sexual assault, war or torture, or disasters such as bushfires or floods. As a result, the person experiences feelings of intense fear, helplessness or horror.” 

PTSD is not a term to be used lightly, the condition can, has and does create living hell for many people across our precious globe. We cannot deny however, that for many, this “circuit breaker” lockdown viscerally brings flooding back a sense of fear, helplessness or horror.

We all know by now that our individual experience of this global pandemic is unique. No one has quite the same set of circumstances; kids/no kids, elderly relatives or not, more work/less work, domestic stressors, underlying health (physical and mental) conditions or all/none of the aforementioned. It is unlikely however that anyone, in the world, has got away with being unaffected by Covid19, for better or for worse.

How can mindfulness help us to ride this most recent blip? How can it help us to allow, inhabit and let go of some of the reactions that some might akin to PTSD? Well, mindfulness teaches us to be here now. Not replaying stories of the past or fantasizing (regardless of how alluring that may be) possibilities of the future. And research tells us (Killingsworth et al, Harvard, 2010) that when we live in the present moment – when we meet the actual life that is here before us, we are more likely to be happy.

And research tells us (Killingsworth et al, Harvard, 2010) that when we live in the present moment – when we meet the actual life that is here before us, we are more likely to be happy.

Practical Tips for Us

1.     Fact or Fiction? - Feel your feelings and then take some time to identify the thoughts/stories to which they are attached. When we notice that familiar feeling of say, dread come over us (the mere mention of home learning makes my tummy twist!) can we sense into the internal commentary that is running in the background of our mind?

• What are the thoughts that have come before the dread (or other emotion)?

• Are the thoughts based in fact, or are they just stories we are creating (usually based on our past experiences)?

• It can be helpful to sort the facts from our own internal fiction by simply asking – what is ACTUALLY happening here and now?

One sure truth is that everything changes, including us and we may be wise to attend to what is happening within and around us (and our kids!) now, rather than slipping back into what was true many months ago.

 2.     Meditate – Mindfulness meditation is not typically done to relax (while this can be a lovely and most welcome side effect), it is done to wake up to ourselves and our life as we find them – exactly as they are. The process of sitting in meditation and watching our wonderful mind ziz-zag, dance, belly flop or float all goes towards the process of building our self-awareness. It is only with self-awareness that we can navigate our life with wisdom – otherwise we can tend to mindlessly wander around bumping into the same old fears/beliefs or opinions. Smiling Mind and Headspace are my two favourite mindfulness meditation apps.

 It is only with self-awareness that we can navigate our life with wisdom

3.     Be Kind – Kindness really is one of our human superpowers. It engages a whole heap of fabulous neurochemistry in our brain and bodies and creates space for pure magic. Ways to be kind:

• To Yourself: Smile when you look in the mirror, give yourself a hug (for at least 30 seconds), put your hand on your heart and whisper sweet nothings; “I know this is hard, you are doing so well, you will get through this”

• To Others: Very simply, make the generous assumption that people are doing the best they can at any given time – it makes life better for everyone (thanks Dr Brene Brown). And then of course there are the simple and practical things we can do like; letting someone in front of us in traffic, dropping flowers to a friend or neighbour or checking in on a friend or relative via an impromptu phone call (I know phone calls can be terrifying where we have to speak to an actual person, but we are amazing and exceptional circumstances such as a global pandemic require us to step up and do these things!)

 Of course, however, mindfulness is not the answer to everything (in fact nothing is the answer to everything!) and if you do feel yourself being sucked into a hole of despair now, or any time, reach out for help. You are absolutely not alone in these feelings of fear, hopelessness or horror and there are people out there who understand and can help.

Beyond Blue https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ is a fabulous free resource that we have here in Australia or get along to your local GP for a referral to a mental health professional. We all have mental health, the same way we all have physical health, and we can each create our own personal recipe for wellbeing, of which mindfulness might be just one part.

Girl Troubles – Where do they come from?

A MINDFUL APPROACH TO MANAGING THE COMPLEXITIES OF BEING FEMALE

Originally posted 2015

I am terrible at maths.

I blame Miss Drummond – my third grade teacher. She spent more time shaving her legs in class than she did teaching, and believe me, when it came to multiplication, subtraction and especially division – I needed lots of teaching.

My maths difficulty aside, after some very rough calculations – I estimate that around 70% of my close female friends, across both America and Australia are on anti-depressant medication. 70% does seem rather high, especially when we are talking about a group of well-educated, intelligent, creative and passionate woman, most are in long-term relationships, many are mothers, some have busy and rewarding careers but they are all battling the troubles of anxiety and depression. Of course, the other possibility is that being a psychologist I am attracted to interesting, complex and slightly mad people in my life so my sample group is significantly skewed. Regardless, I sense there is a bit of a problem so I ask you what is going wrong? Why are these women needing to turn to medication to ease the chattering of their minds? What can we do as a society to ease some of the a) stress of being a woman and b) stress on our medical system as a result of the number of women seeking treatment and medication?

I wonder whether the following areas could be woven into both our formal education system as well as our parenting classes:

1. Build Emotional Management Skills
Research tells us that women are likely to be more emotional beings than men – with this comes great strength (emotional intelligence) and some weakness (greater incidence of anxiety and depression when these emotions are not well managed). What are we doing to support women to manage and leverage the plethora of emotions they are genetically wired to experience? Science tells us that practicing mindfulness can enhance both emotion regulation and feelings of general well-being. The implementation of formal “awareness and observing” practices into both school and home life would be an invaluable addition to all.

2. Develop Relationship Skills
In my thesis (gosh the stats were a grind), I found that one of the biggest predictors of girls’ happiness is the quality of their relationships. What are we doing to support young girls and teenagers to manage the complexities of their relationships? I sense that woman are evolutionary wired to invest time and energy in relationships, however it may be possible that our prehistoric mind has trouble managing the complexities our modern era have introduced to us in this area.  

Practicing mindfulness can help us to build deeper a connection within ourselves – to learn to love and accept ourselves as we truly are. It can also free us to build deeper and more genuine connections with others so we feel truly supported in this wonderful journey of life.

3. Set a Realistic Standard
The messages women are sent today about their role in society are so mixed and so complicated. I believe it is actually harder to be a woman now that it has been at any other time in history. According to the “pretend world” of media we are supposed to be the perfect wife/partner, be in great shape, have no wrinkles, be in a successful career, have well adjusted children, be a good cook, have a clean home, have lots of girlfriends and a fabulous wardrobe. The reality for most of us is that all of these combined are simply unachievable, something, somewhere has to give. And so we turn to medication because we are not living the perfect life we feel like we “should” be living. It is only the likes of Angelina Jolie (who we all know is a little bonkers anyway) who may be able to pull all of these off, but I am sure she does it with a lot of help and probably a great therapist.

Sadly, other women can be our worst enemies too. We can be so harsh on each other, some of us paint the picture that we do have it all together, leaving the rest of us feel inadequate on some level. Come on girls, what happened to the sisterhood?

So, as a women and a mother (of 2 boys!), I believe it is our role to do the following for our girls:

• Teach them that it is OK to be vulnerable – after all that is how we build deep connections within ourselves and with others (refer to Brene Brown’s wonderful TED talk on vulnerability)

• Help them to clarify their values and live within these – that is where true, deep happiness comes from

• Encourage them to set their own goals rather than be guided by others’ expectations

I believe women have the capacity to really shape and shift the state of the world as we live in it today. They have the emotional intelligence, the great relationship building skills and the drive to succeed that will support us into the next century. We just need to support them to manage these strengths more effectively. And, as far as my maths skills go, I have accepted I have strengths in other areas and have employed a great accountant!